Thursday, January 19, 2006

DS reaches maximum MP

At approximately 8:30 pm on Tuesday evening, upon consuming his 5th ether in a span of 82 seconds, DS realized that he had reached his maximum MP for the timebeing.

"I realized I had reached maximum MP when I attempted to drink another can of ether but upon tilting my head back, the room became temporarily fuzzy and I heard a buzzing noise in my head," DS explained at a press conference. "I then realized that I could not physically consume any more ether for the timebeing so I put it back in the fridge."

DSs''ss's' roommate, David Jurgens, recalled the incident as well: "I heard a scream so I went downstairs to the kitchen to witness Dan pouring ether all over his face and the kitchen floor while shaking and yelling." Jurgens explained that at first, he thought Dan was going into shock, and that he would have to make use of his CPR training, but then Dan stopped and spit some of the ether back in the can and replaced it in the fridge, much to Jurgens' displeasure.

"I am glad he had the sense to save the ether for later consumption if he wasn't going to drink it," said Jurgens, "but I really wanted to make use of my CPR training. I suppose I'll just have to wait until he falls asleep."

Much to Jurgens' dismay, DS did not fall asleep in the near future and his ether conservation efforts proved shortlived. After drinking the ether, Dan immediately began DASHing around the living room, executing multi-hit combos on inanimate objects and the neighbor's cat (Sir Kensington), and then returned immediately to the fridge to recharge. These actions continued well into the evening and morning hours, and finally, Brad, Dave, and Mrs. Penniworth (nextdoor neighbor and owner of Sir Kensington) were forced to restrain Dan.

"I don't understand," said Brad, "I would have thought that reaching his maximum MP would cause him to drink less ether, not more."

DS explained to them that upon reaching maximum MP, he realized that his tolerance was far too low, and only by expending his Energy and drinking more would he be able to increase his max MP and cast more awesomer spells and execute new devistating combo attacks.

Mrs. Penniworth, however, was unsatisfied with DS's'sss's explaination and suggested that instead of expending all his Energy on combos on her poor Sir Kensington, he could instead cast auras to increase he and his neighbors' defenses and other such indirect magic. "My Sir Kensington was knighted by the queen," exclaimed Mrs. Penniworth. "She is not only precious to me, but is well-respected all throughout Britain." At this point, DS executed a "brutal" 9 hit combo on the old lady.

"I use my powers for awesome, not for good" declared DS, who then ran back to the kitchen to recharge.

The Prime Minister has not announced any official retaliatory actions to be taken against DS yet, but he assures the public that they will be "swift and decisive."

3 Comments:

Blogger Leeeeeeeeeebs said...

I realize 2 videogame-centered posts in such a short timeframe is a bit much. I hope you all will be understanding. It came from the heart.

6:42 PM  
Blogger Meredith said...

"I use my powers for awesome, not for good" is a FABULOUS DS quote.

<3

7:44 PM  
Blogger Dan Wald said...

this is the best way to end an 18 hour day..... i need a different job...

1:47 AM  

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