Friday, April 07, 2006

Dan Wald Interrupts Library's Children Reading Session with Important Fact

[Santa Monica, CA]

Upon seeing a group of children reading Shel Silverstein's seminal work, "Where the Sidewalk Ends," Dan Wald brought it upon himself to relay an important engineering fact to the aptly-listening children. "Hold up, librarian," announced Wald to the woman who was in fact not a librarian, but just a local volunteer, "this book is going to get these children killed if they don't learn what's real and what's not." Seizing the book from the aghast woman's hand and waving it garishly at the children, Wald pointed to the front cover featuring Silverstein's depiction of several children peering of the edge of a sidewalk. "This," demanded Wald, "this will get you dead." Pointing to one of the children, Wald demanded that they inform him what was wrong in the picture. After the children began crying Wald stated that he too was crying on the inside due to the lack of facts. "Children," continued Wald, "the tolerances on this side walk are too low to support two children and a dog simultaneously. Moreover, I suspect that not even a single child would be safe on such a precipice! You must beware of low tolerances if you wish to live." Wald then instructed the volunteer to "try teaching these children some facts," and promptly continued on to the yoga section to pick up the book his yoga class instructor had asked them to read a week earlier.


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